Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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