By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
