i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
