remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
