spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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