someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
