I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
