btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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