I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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