i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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