She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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