thus making me awesome and them whores
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
