i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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