therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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