The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
