so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize