He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
