I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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