so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
