weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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