what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize