shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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