We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
