dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
