that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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