Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
