Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
