how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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