Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
