it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
