Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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