she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
