Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
