Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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