That's intense
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
