Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
this hospital has no fireball
as a side note pls kill me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
