You're my little dorito
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My dick has a subreddit
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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