Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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