Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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