Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
