What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
