One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize