ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
