All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
