just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
