omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
