Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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