Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
