if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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