So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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