I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
