Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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