she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
