At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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