dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
