My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
