Pappa wants mamma naked
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Randomize
