P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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