So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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