I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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