My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
