Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
