I CAN MOONWALK!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
