we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
