He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
