i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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