I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
